My family and I recently went to the movie Frozen. As we left the movie theater my daughter ran in circles flinging her hands into the air as if she was Elsa and had the power to freeze things. She was unaware of the gawking eyes that followed her every move. I watched this angel in awe.
As you know, I want to publish a book. I am already an author as I write and have completed manuscripts, but I want to actually have my book published. I am afraid though. Afraid of what people might think of me, and what they might feel. What do they say about my writing in their own homes, I wonder. This blog is the first step in the direction of losing my fear. I sat with my mouse hovering over the post button the first time I shared something that I wrote and questioned my own abilities. I thought of my mini Elsa and clicked the button.
Now, I hate to admit, it is still not easy. I am still fearful of what others think. I wish it were not this way and I wonder how this is happens. My young daughter loves to sing. She loves to share her art and creativity with the world. She is so confident in her abilities that she once asked me, “Mom, do you think Jewel is mad at me?” I asked her what she meant by that, to which she responded, “Well, I can sing better than her, but she is pretty good too.” Will she loose this too? Did I once love sharing my words?
So in my New Year I will make a resolution to find my courage. The courage to believe in myself. To find joy in my own art and to share it with the world, no matter what they might think. I may never reach the place where I wonder if Lisa Gardner is mad at me, but I sure hope I can overcome the point where I wonder if others will like me.
